Have you asked yet

How honest are you with your colleagues, staff, friends, family? I’m not talking brutal honesty that is hurtful. I mean candid, constructive feedback.

Years ago I worked for a VP who, when angry about a situation in the hangar (we worked for an airline), would stride back to his office and slam the door hard. It rattled everyone in the area. One day I’d had it. I knew it was his way of letting off steam, but he had no idea the impact it was having on the team and his reputation. I waited until the end of the day and went to his office. I told him I had something to say that I thought he needed to know. I asked if he had any idea what happened when he slammed his door. He didn’t. I described what it felt like to be on the other side of the wall. He asked if he should apologize to everyone. I told him he could, but the best thing to do was stop slamming. He never slammed his door again.

He was a good leader in many ways. I could have accepted “that’s just the way he is” and not said anything. But I believed he needed to know this behavior was damaging his reputation.  

What behavior might be affecting your growth, your reputation? Wouldn’t you like to know? Ask.

When I do Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI 360) feedback sessions, we talk about the 30 behaviors of exemplary leadership. One of the behaviors is: Asks for feedback on how their actions affect others’ performance. It’s an important one that many don’t do often.

It’s not asking “How am I doing?” It’s focused on the other person. “What could I do or do differently that would enable you to do your job even better?” This question (or your version of it) works with teams and at home, too. It takes courage to ask. And even more mettle to listen and respond positively.

Don’t let a door slam on your reputation. Enhance it by asking how your actions affect others’ performance.

If an LPI self-assessment or 360 will help you know how you're doing with the 30 behaviors of exemplary leadership, let's talk.

2,012 things gone

We did it! 2,012 things are gone, given away or tossed. That was our commitment for 2012 and it’s done. The odd thing is: I didn’t think I had that much to give away or get rid of, and I don’t miss any of it! The crazy thing is: there’s more. So, we’re setting our new goal – 2,013 things to go this year. And this time we hit the garage, too. I’m looking forward to it! We kept ourselves going by having a pad where we listed every item we took to Goodwill or tossed. At the bottom of each page, I’d tally the total and show how many more items we had to go to reach our goal. Tracking helped. Giving away clothes and things to Goodwill felt good. I’m doing what others did for me years ago. I remember coming home from school when I was a kid and finding something ‘new’ laying on my bed – a sweater, skirt, jacket. We didn’t’ have a lot of money, so my mother sometimes shopped for my sister, brother and me at St. Vincent de Paul on Long Island. We were thrilled to get gently worn clothes that were new to us. We’ll certainly be going down memory lane when we tackle the garage. Jack said this morning that one of the things we’ll let go of is his father’s WWII trunk. Who knows what we’ll find inside!