Thank You

I have a thank you gift for you.
Every year at Thanksgiving, I like to send my past, present and future clients, colleagues and friends a thank you for the opportunities we’ve had to work together. It is such a joy helping you be the best you can be.

Throughout the year, my messages are about streamlining the way you work, deal with leadership challenges, relationships, etc. This time it’s about how to streamline YOU!

You know, we’re going to have many tasty treats over the next six weeks (Mmm!), and it’s easy to let the holiday hustle and bustle take precedence over taking care of ourselves. Yet we don’t want to start the new year off behind the 8 ball. Right? We want to look and feel our best. That’s important because when we feel good about ourselves, our interactions with others improve as well.

So my gift to you is to get Fit In The Kitchen!* Click to access.
Six simple yet powerful exercises to get energized, smooth out kinks, and ease stress at the end of your day. Doable at your kitchen sink! Do them 2-3 times a week and by January you will feel stronger, look trimmer and beam with more self-confidence.

You are the first to receive Fit in the Kitchen. Feel free to pass it on to your colleagues, friends, and family because they won’t hear about it anywhere else. Make it your gift to them! It works for men and women, all ages. In fact, the model in the photos is almost 60 and shaved her head to minimize hair care time. Now that’s one sure way to streamline!

I hope you will try Fit in the Kitchen and let me know how it works for you. Better yet, join me as I make the commitment to do this routine 3 times each week throughout this holiday season. (Tip to self: remove chocolate from kitchen.) If you have questions regarding the exercises, contact Peggy. She will be happy to respond via email.

Let’s start 2011 feeling good about ourselves in every way: Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, Spiritually ... PIES! Mmmm.

*Peggy K is a seasoned personal trainer in NY who offers customized programs for those who want to be physically strong and agile. A key feature is improving posture to optimize appearance and function for each individual. She’s not a boot camper. Her approach is thoughtful, considerate of your physicality, and she has a particular interest in working with women concerned about osteoporosis. See a sampling of what she offers at Fit in the Kitchen.

Room to Read

I just finished reading a very moving and motivating book about an international marketing executive who takes a vacation for the first time in nine years and has a life-changing experience. He intentionally goes to the other side of the world to climb in the Himalayas so that he's outdoors, physically challenged, and can't be reached by cell phone. A visit to a poor rural school in Nepal shocks him when he sees they have less than a dozen books, left-behinds from mountain climbers, locked away as too valuable for the kids to handle. He promises to return with kids' books the next year. As a boy, he spent countless hours in the library and can't imagine these kids not having anything to read. Their future is bleak, just as it has been for their parents.

Email to friends and family in Australia and U.S. requesting used kids' books sets in motion a tremendous outpouring of support for his vision to bring books to this and other poor schools. That's just the beginning. He quits his lucrative, high-level job with Microsoft. Splits with his girlfriend (she prefers their life filled with business perks, not donating time and money to help poor kids in rural third-world countries learn to read). Moves on with his dream, creating a highly respected non-profit, "Room to Read," that donates books and raises funds to open schools in the poorest areas of Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Sri Lanka (after the devastating tsunami) and Africa. John Wood travels the globe with his passion to improve the lives of poor children. Donors believe in his mission because a high percentage of donations goes directly to the schools and scholarships. Scholarships for girls is a key ingredient because he sees first hand that girls are not valued in poor countries, yet they will change the future through their mothering if they are educated.

I'm glad a friend lent me "Leaving Microsoft to Change the World" by John Wood. It reinforces my belief that each of us can make a difference if we want to. It doesn't have to be this big....what is your Room to Read?

It's been 3 weeks since

Mom died. For ten years I wondered if she’d go all the way to the end of the Alzheimer’s path. I hoped she wouldn’t. She did. It was an unexpected blessing.

Here’s what I learned:
- connect with others along the path and you'll handle your own challenges better.
- repeat to yourself often: “This, too, will pass.”
- treat persons with Alzheimer’s with dignity and love for they are still in there.
- friendships are uplifting in times of distress.
- family and friends far away can feel very close.
- belief in life after death is a true comfort.
- we are only a blip on the screen in relation to our universe.
- email works as well as a card or letter when expressing heart-felt emotion.
- God has a plan for every one of us – be receptive to it.

The morning mom died, Jack’s car broke down on his way to work. This is rare. I was asleep when he called and asked if I’d take him to work. AAA was on its way to take the car. I agreed to be there in 10-15 minutes. Flew out of bed, got dressed, told my sister I’d keep going to mom’s since Jack’s office is half-way there. She said, “I’ll go with you.” We drove off looking ragged. We’d been with mom til after midnight and left her sleeping comfortably.

Taking Jack to work got us to her earlier than we would have on our own. When we arrived her breathing sounded awful, like an old percolator struggling. I held the phone to her mouth for the hospice nurse to hear. She was surprised that mom had progressed to that point so quickly. A couple of drops of morphine calmed her breathing. We held her hand, talked to her, prayed for her. After an hour her breathing slowed, continued gently, then stopped. Then we watched her carotid artery in her neck beat slower and slower til it stopped. She was gone.

I never thought I’d say this, but it was a privilege to experience those last moments with her. We’d been through so much together, it felt natural to be with her as she took her last breaths. It was peaceful. We know her spirit lives on in heaven. She’s happier now than ever. And she’s keeping an eye on us, as she always has.

We learned so much from our experiences with Alzheimer’s disease. I wouldn’t trade it for any other way to go. She was not in pain. Her pleasant smile warmed hearts. Our connections with friends, family and caregivers grew stronger. It was a blessing in many ways.

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USE it or LOSE it

I want to tell you about my friend Ashley Allen's approach to new year resolutions. Rather than naming specific resolutions, she creates a theme for the year that is easy to remember, applies to many dimensions in life, and is trackable. I like her approach so much, I adopted it myself!

The theme for 2010 is: USE it or LOSE it.

Ashley set specific goals to USE and LOSE. I've given away clothes and books no longer used and started (again) using my gym membership for yoga classes. If I don't use my strength and flexibility, I'll surely lose it!

What could you USE this year that would benefit you?
> Talents, Skills, Habits
> Develop strengths instead of focusing on weaknesses
> Streamline systems
> Crystallize your future dreams

What could you LOSE that would benefit you?
> Limiting beliefs
> Negative habits
> Clutter (mental and physical)

USE it or LOSE it
We often create invisible walls that keep us from being who we know in our hearts we are meant to be. We limit ourselves. A client once said, "I wish I could stop being afraid." What are you afraid of? Success? Even fear can be a motivator for good.

You can feel much better about yourself by the end of 2010. What will it take?

Start today. Repeat to yourself: USE it or LOSE it. It will help you make decisions.

I'd love to hear what you USE and LOSE so that you can be who you want to be this year!

If you'd like to receive my monthly messages (motivational, time savers, tips on elevating the leader in you), click here to subscribe to Mary's Valuable Tips.

I look forward to hearing from you!

What’s Bugging You?

Is this you? Are you trying harder than ever but not getting where you want to go?

A True Story *

I'm sitting in a quiet room at the Millcroft Inn, a peaceful place hidden back among the pine trees about an hour out of Toronto. It's just past noon, late July, and I'm listening to the desperate sounds of a life-or-death struggle going on a few feet away.

There's a small fly burning out the last of its short life's energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of the windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant story of the fly's strategy -- try harder.

But it's not working.

The frenzied effort offers no hope for survival. Ironically, the struggle is part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw effort and determination.

This fly is doomed. It will die there on the windowsill.

Across the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Ten seconds of flying time and this small creature could reach the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of this self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be so easy.

Why doesn't the fly try another approach, something dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the idea that this particular route, and determined effort, offer the most promise for success? What logic is there continuing, until death, to seek a breakthrough with "more of the same"?

No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly. Regrettably, it's an idea that will kill.

"Trying harder" isn't necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it's a big part of the problem.

If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.

~~~~~~~~~~

What is your windowpane? Step back and look around for the door. Are you trying harder to make a break through and getting frustrated because your efforts are not paying off?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

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* By Price Pritchett in his 36-page book
You²: A High-Velocity Formula for Multiplying Your Personal Effectiveness in Quantum Leaps
http://www.pritchettnet.com
This excerpt is used with full permission from PRITCHETT, LP. All rights are reserved.

We Judge by Appearance

We’ve all heard this many times before: don’t judge others by their appearance. Yet we still do it. Evidence the recent blast into stardom of Susan Boyle on ‘Britain’s Got Talent.’ She’s been featured on UTube (about 100 million views), on TV, in print, online, and emails are still flying around the world. Her voice coach worries that she’ll be lost in the PR swirl. (Yes, she has a coach.)

From laughter and ridicule to amazement and standing ovation in just a few moments. Many shed tears as they watched and listened to her surprisingly beautiful rendition of one of my favorite songs, “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables. It’s heart warming to know that people can embrace someone so quickly, yet scary to think that just moments before she was openly ridiculed. I’m sure you’ve experienced similar examples of how fickle we can be.

Last week, at the memorial Mass of a friend who died unexpectedly, we learned that she, too, had talents most of us had never known. She had dementia, yet at some point wrote Haiku. I was so impressed with her catchy 3-lined poetry in 5-7-5 syllables -- descriptive, touching, clever words on paper that she could not have verbalized -- I pass these gems on to you, in her memory. The first two refer to her love of the performing arts.

The houselights have dimmed;
A hush descends upon us.
The curtain rises.

The stars are starring
In a play called "Heavenly".
The audience bows.

Her sense of humor and appreciation of the double entendre shine through:
In the streetlights glow
Shadows stretch before my eyes.
Then...it dawned on me.

Perhaps her writing talent could have been developed if she had had a coach to encourage her to stretch and practice, just as Susan Boyle’s coach did for her.

What are your hidden talents? What could you develop if you spent time practicing and stretching yourself? If a couple of things popped into your mind, think about taking action on one of them. You may surprise yourself and everyone you know with what you can do. Even if you don't look like you could.
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Be Brief, Be Bright, Be Gone

As I thought about writing this post, I wanted to keep it brief and useful. That brought to mind a VP I worked with years ago. He was sharp, organized and always on top of his game. Well respected, too. His top managers were a lot like him. They were known for being team players, go getters and always said what they thought in a constructive way. It made me think that we all can work on making our points more succinctly. And in a positive way.

Everyone’s attention span is short. Whether you’re writing email, speaking at a meeting or making a presentation, keep that in mind.

Every time I write, I go back and remove at least 10% of the words. And then I do it again. That’s an old tip from Zinsser’s “On Writing Well.” I’m amazed at how wordy I can be. I’ve already cut much more than 10% of what I’ve written here!

It’s easy to rattle on. But I’m committed to keeping this post brief. The VP I mentioned was known for wanting his team to make their points quickly and succinctly. They said to be successful with him, you had to “be brief, be bright, be gone!” He didn’t say those words, they adapted that style because he valued it. I’ve never forgotten it.

If you want those you communicate with to be brief, bright and complete with their messages to you, set the example. When emailing, include the action you want taken in the first lines of your message. Make sure your tone is friendly, not dictatorial. You may even want to indicate ACTION: in your first line or two. You’ll be surprised at how others adapt your style. If you write long, wordy messages, you’ll often get that style in return. If you write clear, concise, appreciative messages, you’ll get them in return as well. You train others how you want to be treated. Try it.

OK, I’m gone. Let me know how it goes!
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