Your Words Count

I received three cents change yesterday -- three of the shiniest pennies I've ever seen.

Those three shiny pennies made me smile as they reminded me of my mastermind group. I love that group. Three director and associate director level women who have been meeting with me for over a year.

One of my masterminders (I'll call her Leela to protect her anonymity) was asked to speak to a professional women's group at her company.

She told them there is more power in their words than they realize. And the words they choose to express appreciation may have impact far beyond their expectations.

More than 18 years ago, Leela had a boss who expressed appreciation minimally. She believed people were paid to do a job and didn't need to be praised for doing it. When Leela accepted a transfer with the company to another state and told her boss she would be leaving, her boss said, "I am excited for you and disappointed...I'm disappointed because you are my "shiny penny." Leela questioned what she meant. Her boss said she could always depend on Leela to do the right thing, and her conscientious can-do spirit positively influenced everyone in the office. Leela stood out from the rest, like a "shiny penny," and her boss was going to miss that.

Leela was surprised and touched. Now 18 years later that conversation is still vivid in her mind. She pays it forward by using shiny pennies to compliment others. She pastes one to a card, writes a note and sends it to someone who deserves recognition. She doesn't wait until they are leaving to let them know how much they are appreciated.

Leela believes we all start out as shiny pennies. I do, too! Over time, some get dulled from use, some get tossed into a jar and left for years without growing, some even get run over.

On my way back from a walk this morning, I picked up a very shabby penny in the street. It had been through a lot in its life, but despite the grime and scratched edges, a bit of shine peaked through. It made me think how - each of us - no matter how beaten up or dulled we become - we still have a shiny penny within us.

You are a shiny penny. And your words count.

What Questions

I met with a client who manages a popular restaurant and is well liked by his team. He wants everyone on his team to shine, but some are inconsistent in their performance and it frustrates him. He dreads having to “be stern” with them because that’s not his style, but he has to address it. It’s eating him up inside.

I suggested he ask them ‘What’ instead of ‘Why’ questions.
-What causes you to do a good job some days and not others?
-What would it take for you to be consistent in your performance every day?
-What impact do you think your performance has on the rest of the team?
His immediate reaction was that maybe something or someone up the line was impacting their job on certain days. He also realized he does not know these employees as well as those who do a good job.   

‘What’ questions usually generate a different response than ‘Why’ questions. I asked him, “What would happen if you met with these employees individually and let them know you are concerned about their performance and asked what you could do to help them be successful?” He thought for a moment, then said he felt a difference in his own reaction to ‘What’ instead of “Why..…” 

This shifted his perspective about what is possible with these employees and with his natural management style. Asking ‘What....’ enables him to be himself to get to the heart of the situation. He doesn’t have to be the dreaded stern disciplinarian.

What would asking ‘What’ questions do for you? I encourage you to try it and see if you get a different reaction.