What Questions

I met with a client who manages a popular restaurant and is well liked by his team. He wants everyone on his team to shine, but some are inconsistent in their performance and it frustrates him. He dreads having to “be stern” with them because that’s not his style, but he has to address it. It’s eating him up inside.

I suggested he ask them ‘What’ instead of ‘Why’ questions.
-What causes you to do a good job some days and not others?
-What would it take for you to be consistent in your performance every day?
-What impact do you think your performance has on the rest of the team?
His immediate reaction was that maybe something or someone up the line was impacting their job on certain days. He also realized he does not know these employees as well as those who do a good job.   

‘What’ questions usually generate a different response than ‘Why’ questions. I asked him, “What would happen if you met with these employees individually and let them know you are concerned about their performance and asked what you could do to help them be successful?” He thought for a moment, then said he felt a difference in his own reaction to ‘What’ instead of “Why..…” 

This shifted his perspective about what is possible with these employees and with his natural management style. Asking ‘What....’ enables him to be himself to get to the heart of the situation. He doesn’t have to be the dreaded stern disciplinarian.

What would asking ‘What’ questions do for you? I encourage you to try it and see if you get a different reaction.

1,940 things to go

Jack and I committed to giving away or throwing away 2012 items this year. At first I didn't think we could possibly get rid of that many things in our home, but I think it's definitely doable now. We're down to 1,940. I just cleaned out 30 boxes of tea (I used to drink it and many were gifts), and various other food items that were beyond their expiration date. I'd like to say getting rid of 2012 things was my original idea, but it came from our dear friend Ashley who is always challenging herself to measurable outcomes. This one intrigued me because we've been talking about cleaning out the garage (but haven't tackled it yet) for years. I knew having a # and date goal would incent me to let things go. It really has helped! We're keeping a tab in a polka-dot pad in the kitchen so we are reminded every time we see it. It's actually fun to look at things I would normally overlook and think -- we haven't used that, or I really don't like that, and let it go!    

This works

When I'm feeling stuck about something, want to move forward but something holds me back, I use these 5 steps to get my thoughts in order and get energized about what has to be done. I call it VW PAR. I've used this process for years, for myself and my clients, but gave it a name only last year. I'm passing it on so that you can benefit from it, too.   

VWPAR

1) Visualize: Picture what you want to have happen, the result, not the problem. Picture yourself blasting past the challenge to a fantastic finish. See yourself finishing successfully, being the real you. What does that finish look like, feel like, sound like, taste like, smell like? Picture it in detail.

2) Write what you pictured. Start your sentences with "I am..." to put it in present tense, or "I have..." as if you already accomplished it. If you have a hard time starting, particularly if you don’t like to write, then write whatever comes to mind to get the junk out of your head. Once the surface stuff is out, you will be surprised at what comes to mind. Thoughts you would not have had otherwise will bubble up.

3) Prioritize: Write the actions you will take, then number them. Often it's not what you write first that has to be done first. 

4) Act: Do what you prioritized.

5) Reflect: Think about what you accomplished. What went well, what you will do again or differently next time. Visualize yourself doing an outstanding job with it. Then start VWPAR for your next goal!

VWPAR has worked for my clients and for me for years. For big and little things. I hope it helps you, too. 

New Year, Unlimited Possibilities

I believe this year is going to be filled with wonderful opportunities and lots of growth for all of us. We just have to be open minded and willing to stretch our thinking about what is possible. This brief clip makes that very clear. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOlTdkYXuzE&feature=related