What holds you back

Most of us hold on to something that holds us back -- a habit that doesn’t serve us well, a commitment that is no longer right for us.

A few weeks ago, my journal opened to a page I had not seen in months -- a mindmap I created after reading What Got You Here Won’t Get You Thereby Marshall Goldsmith. I liked his 20 habits that hold you backand captured them to use in the future.

What hit me right between the eyes was the note I had written to myself:
Key for me: Know what to stop.

I knew why my journal opened to that page. I was struggling with a project I created months ago, unable to finish it. Part of me wanted to stop spending time on it, use that time for bigger future-oriented work, but the other voice in my head (my ego) didn’t want me to ‘quit,’ disappoint others. Whenever I sat down to work on it, soon I’d have ‘monkey brain,’ swinging from one thing to another, focusing instead on what I really wanted to do. It was a mental tug of war, and I was the rope.

‘Know what to stop’ was meant for me that day. I decided then and there that I would stop the project and move on. It was freeing. It was the right thing to do. The handout I’ve been using will suffice, I do not have to write an Outlook 2010 book. Instead I’m focusing on Elevate the Leader in You.

What can you stop doing that will catapult you forward? Not sure? Ask your colleagues, friends, boss, family members, coach to be candid with you and tell you one thing you are doing that is holding you back. Listen. Thank them. Think about what you heard. Then pick one and stop doing it. It will feel right and will move you toward being who you are truly meant to be.

Setting Visible Goals

When I was growing up in New York, my father would make “going to Miami” and staying at the Fontainbleu where Prudential held its annual conference a goal each year. He would do all he could to sell enough life insurance policies to make that goal. Sometimes I was recruited to help him stuff envelopes or put packets together to take to potential policyholders. I remember his MIAMI and SELL SELL SELL signs around his office in the basement, sometimes hanging from the ceiling right near his desk chair so he couldn’t miss them. He was a real advocate of positive thinking making a difference in your life. (I guess I didn't fall far from that tree!) 

We never stayed at the Fontainbleu, but I knew what the hotel looked like and all of its fantastic features from the brochures. The few times we went to Miami with him as a family, we stayed at a small less expensive hotel nearby, Ocean Horizon, while he went back and forth to the conference. I loved that place, the smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves and the swaying palm tress. A few times he arranged for my sister, brother and me to spend the evening in one of his buddies' Fountainbleu rooms while he and my mother went to an event in the ballroom. We three were thrilled to lay on the big bed with lots of pillows watching TV!

He was happy when he made his goals come true, and it psyched him to achieve more next time. He was a great example of always working on improving himself. As I sit here working on my Outlook 2010 book, I'm thinking maybe I should hang some signs.