Hold a plank

I held a plank position for 1 minute today. That doesn't sound like much, but it's hard! My goal for April is to increase it to 2 minutes daily. It will strengthen my shoulders, wrists, core, legs and mental state. And that's what I'm after. To make sure I do it, I've put it on my calendar and have an accountability partner, my friend Sooz. She's committed to do it daily, too. We'll email each other each day after it's done. These built in reminders will help me stick to it. I know I'll be stronger on April 30!      

No, that's not me...yet. It's from http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/diet-fitness/exercise/core-abdominal-and-lower-back-exercises10.htm

 

Bogged down blogging

My coach said in response to my objection to blogging weekly that when you add love to being bogged down, you get blogging. She’s right. In fact, when you add love to anything it gets better. I’ve done it numerous times in different situations, and it works every time. For instance, when I’m doing a program and my energy wanes, usually in mid-afternoon, I look at the participants and think, I love these people. Every one of them. They begin to look different. My shift in thinking energizes me and fans the flame I want them to feel about the content. Whether we're talking about believing in you, being a better leader of yourself and others, or streamlining your use of email – no matter the content, audience or location - looking at them with love increases my energy and shifts the way I talk with them. And now look what it's done.....it's helped me write this entry. Thanks, coach!

 

 

 

 

Biking again

Jack and I rode our bikes about 5 miles Sunday afternoon. First time in about 20 years! Felt great. Loved it. I’m so grateful we could ride without hesitation or fear. It felt natural to be riding again. I blocked out thoughts of when I did a power slide onto gravel, wearing shorts, when I was a kid. Instead, I focused on how good it felt, the breeze, warmth, beautiful scenery. When I struggled going up a hill in Winter Park (yes, there are hills in flat Florida), I started counting my pedaling. When it got harder and I didn’t like how I was feeling, I started praying the Hail Mary in time with my pedaling and shifted my thinking to ‘I can do this.’ It worked! Just like when I get in a jam or frustrated, I talk to God or say a prayer and shift my thoughts to a more positive perspective. It makes such a difference. I’m so grateful for that.

I took a 2 mile spin around the neighborhood this morning – I think I’m hooked.   

Performing is short-lived

One of my mentees has been very candid about the way she feels about speaking to large groups. It gives her the hee bee gee bees. We talked about how doing it more will make it easier. Now she's pushing herself to speak to groups, even seeking opportunities. After a recent presentation, she realized that when she thinks about the audience and what will help them understand her message instead of thinking about herself and what she looks like, sounds like, she has a much more positive experience. Her audience is more responsive.

A lot has to do with how we view our situation. Are we performing or are we having an experience? Peter Bregman, my favorite Harvard Business Review blogger, writes:

"If you view life as a performance, your failures will be so painful and terrifying that you will stop experimenting. But if you view life as an experience, your failures are just part of that experience.
What makes a performance different than an experience? It's all in your head.

Are you trying to look good? Do you want to impress others or win something? Are you looking for acceptance, approval, accolades, wild thunderous applause? Is it painful when you don't get those things? You're probably performing.

If you're experiencing, on the other hand, you're exploring what something feels like. Trying to see what would happen if...

When you're experiencing, you can appreciate negative outcomes as well as positive ones. Sure, acceptance and approval and accolades feel good, but those things don't determine success. Success is based on whether you fully immerse yourself in the experience, no matter how it turns out, and whether you learn from it. That's a result you can always achieve regardless of the outcome.

When you're performing, your success is disturbingly short-lived. As soon as you've achieved one milestone or received a particular standing ovation, it's no longer relevant. Your unending question is: what's next?

When you're experiencing though, it's not about the end result, it's about the moment. You're not pursuing a feeling after, you're having a feeling during. You can't be manipulated by a fickle, outside measure because you're motivated by a stable internal one.

Read the article:
http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2013/01/stop-focusing-on-your-performa.html

My New Favorite Thing

I love my new clothes drier! Now when I have sweaters that have to "lay flat to dry," they have an airy, stable, stainless steel collapsible drying rack to rest on in the backyard. Yesterday I used it to air out pillows in the sunshine. From www.organizeit.com

Have you asked yet

How honest are you with your colleagues, staff, friends, family? I’m not talking brutal honesty that is hurtful. I mean candid, constructive feedback.

Years ago I worked for a VP who, when angry about a situation in the hangar (we worked for an airline), would stride back to his office and slam the door hard. It rattled everyone in the area. One day I’d had it. I knew it was his way of letting off steam, but he had no idea the impact it was having on the team and his reputation. I waited until the end of the day and went to his office. I told him I had something to say that I thought he needed to know. I asked if he had any idea what happened when he slammed his door. He didn’t. I described what it felt like to be on the other side of the wall. He asked if he should apologize to everyone. I told him he could, but the best thing to do was stop slamming. He never slammed his door again.

He was a good leader in many ways. I could have accepted “that’s just the way he is” and not said anything. But I believed he needed to know this behavior was damaging his reputation.  

What behavior might be affecting your growth, your reputation? Wouldn’t you like to know? Ask.

When I do Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI 360) feedback sessions, we talk about the 30 behaviors of exemplary leadership. One of the behaviors is: Asks for feedback on how their actions affect others’ performance. It’s an important one that many don’t do often.

It’s not asking “How am I doing?” It’s focused on the other person. “What could I do or do differently that would enable you to do your job even better?” This question (or your version of it) works with teams and at home, too. It takes courage to ask. And even more mettle to listen and respond positively.

Don’t let a door slam on your reputation. Enhance it by asking how your actions affect others’ performance.

If an LPI self-assessment or 360 will help you know how you're doing with the 30 behaviors of exemplary leadership, let's talk.

2,012 things gone

We did it! 2,012 things are gone, given away or tossed. That was our commitment for 2012 and it’s done. The odd thing is: I didn’t think I had that much to give away or get rid of, and I don’t miss any of it! The crazy thing is: there’s more. So, we’re setting our new goal – 2,013 things to go this year. And this time we hit the garage, too. I’m looking forward to it! We kept ourselves going by having a pad where we listed every item we took to Goodwill or tossed. At the bottom of each page, I’d tally the total and show how many more items we had to go to reach our goal. Tracking helped. Giving away clothes and things to Goodwill felt good. I’m doing what others did for me years ago. I remember coming home from school when I was a kid and finding something ‘new’ laying on my bed – a sweater, skirt, jacket. We didn’t’ have a lot of money, so my mother sometimes shopped for my sister, brother and me at St. Vincent de Paul on Long Island. We were thrilled to get gently worn clothes that were new to us. We’ll certainly be going down memory lane when we tackle the garage. Jack said this morning that one of the things we’ll let go of is his father’s WWII trunk. Who knows what we’ll find inside!